WORKPLACE CONFLICTS WILL INEVITABLY RISE. HERE’S HOW YOU CAN OVERCOME THEM.
Even if you make the most careful hires based on cultural fit, skills and experience, workplace conflicts inevitably arise between co-workers. This is especially true during stressful times, busy periods or just after layoffs, when tension is running high.
Issues can vary from minor disputes on the best way to handle projects to personality conflicts to major blow-ups that threaten the efficiency of an entire department or team – especially if other employees start taking sides.
In minor cases, the employees can work it out themselves, but if something major or ongoing comes down, don’t let it fester or blow up into a disastrous situation. Company leadership and talent managers should step in and help put the team back on solid footing.
Here are some tips from workplace relationship professionals:
1. JUMP IN EARLY
A neutral third party – in many companies, that means the talent manager or another HR manager – is critical to creating a structured environment to have a productive discussion between two warring camps, said Zachary Schaefer, a mediator and corporate conflict management consultant in St. Louis.
If things are getting heated, the earlier you get involved, the less the risk there will be permanent damage from the fallout, Schaefer said. Make it clear to the employees involved that you’re neutral and not taking sides.
2. PREVENT FRIENDLY FIRE
During workplace disputes, people often begin to attack each other personally and say things they don’t mean, according to Schaefer. “When left unchecked or unaddressed, these friendly fire verbal assaults will diminish trust and commitment and ripple outside of the immediate conflict,” Schaefer said. Prevent this by giving the employees ground rules – no name-calling, accusations or finger pointing and give an honest account of the problem.
3. TAKE IT OFFLINE
Go somewhere private, like an office with a door to close, the conference room or even somewhere off-site. That way, the disputing employees won’t feel like the rest of the staff is listening in or watching. It creates a safe environment for them to speak their minds.
4. DIVE INTO THE PROBLEM
When in a private space and with defined ground rules for communication, it’s time to get down to brass tacks. Ask each employee to give their version of events on the issue, and take notes if necessary. Listen carefully for common ground and inconsistencies.
5. ASK DESCRIPTIVE QUESTIONS
The best way to help others solve their conflicts is to ask a lot of descriptive questions about the incident, conflict or dispute at issue, Schaefer said. This helps both parties reconstruct the full context of the conflict, not simply what puts them in a favorable light.
“When people are in conflict, they will only share their version of the incident, so a smart mediator constructs the context to learn about the incident and reframe the focus from the past to the future,” Schaefer said.
6. ENCOURAGE EACH EMPLOYEE TO SEE THE OTHER’S POINT OF VIEW
One of the most effective strategies for dealing with conflict is to get curious with others to better understand their perspectives, said Kathy Taberner, founder of the Curiosity Institute, a coaching and training organization.
What does it mean to be curious? Being present to listen and absorb, or choosing to listen in a way that makes you open to understanding the ideas of others and asking good questions that can’t be answered with yes or no, Taberner said.
“We have worked with many clients who have used this strategy in situations where conflict is surfacing, and they all comment on the change that occurs where they feel better and are thus able to open up to what the other is saying so they can better understand them,” Taberner said. “Although this strategy may not lead to agreement on all issues, it does lead to better understanding the issues from the perspective of others so that everyone can move forward in dealing with and resolving the issue in a way that works for everyone.”
7. OUTLAW CRITICISM
Being critical of bosses, employees, colleagues or even perfect strangers comes as naturally as breathing, according to Larry Shushansky, a therapist who specializes in workplace relationships.
“We think or talk critically daily,” Shushansky said. “Multiple times a day. And each time we do, it works against our well-being. Turning an overly critical attitude around is not easy because it often becomes a habit, a way of dealing with conflict and low self-esteem. We tend to think, ‘Do you know what they’re having me do at work? There’s no way one person can do that. If they weren’t so disorganized.’ ”
Instead of employees being critical of each other, focus on the issue at hand, what happened and how best to go forward.
8. CHECK EMOTIONS AT THE DOOR
“In many situations, we think that we’re dealing with difficult people, but really, we’re dealing with difficult emotions and reactions,” Shushansky said.
Checking those emotions at the door and talking calmly about the issue will go far to help resolve the problem.
9. MAKE AN AGREEMENT FOR HOW TO MOVE PAST IT
When each has said their piece, ask them both what they’d like to see happen from there. Some questions to help facilitate that: What’s the solution here? What will it take for both of you to move forward? How can we solve this conflict so both of your needs are met? Ideally, both employees will be satisfied with the outcome and feel good about moving forward.
10. TALK ABOUT WAYS TO PREVENT SIMILAR CONFLICTS IN THE FUTURE
Now that they’ve made up, it’s time to think about ways to prevent a similar conflict from slithering its way between them again. It could be as simple as providing a forum for honest communication in staff meetings, a promise from the two of them to come to you immediately if something similar is brewing, or even a written agreement that they both sign. The idea is to provide a framework for pushing the reset button and getting back to what they do best – work.
Source: Talent Management